literature

Never

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SaraChristensen's avatar
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Literature Text

I hate sprinting barefoot on hot pavement
I hate boating across a frozen pond
I hate racing horses down a gravel road
I hate catching trout with only my hands
I hate climbing impossibly tall trees
I hate swimming through raging rivers
I hate trapping chipmunks in shoeboxes
I hate running through fields at midnight
I hate stabbing at nests of red ants
I hate walking along trails in the woods

I hate the ATV in my garage
I hate the bull horns in my closet
I hate the Breyer horse in my room
I hate the emails in my inbox
I hate the sketchbook in my portfolio
I hate the T-shirt in my dresser
I hate the tattered jeans in the hamper
I hate the paintings in the office

I hate Crime and Punishment
I hate Invisible Man
I hate Lord of the Rings
I hate Secret Window
I hate Coldplay
I hate Everlast

I hate riding passenger on a dirt-bike
I hate gazing at the stars in the sky
I hate hearing the hoot of an owl
I hate getting lost in the forest

I hate the white scar on my arm
I hate the tears on my cheek

BUT I COULD NEVER HATE YOU
[ meant to be spoken aloud ]

A list of everything that still reminds me of her...

I've been wanting to compile this list for eons but have never had the patience or courage to revisit the past. Now that I have, I see that there was nothing
to be afraid of---her memory doesn't burn like it used to.

I know that most of these memories don't make any sense, and they never would even if I took the time to explain... but I hope you enjoy them anyway.

This poem is essentially a stream of my unconscious thoughts,
things I have kept secret for years.

There is one thing that I refuse to hide any longer:

Although I hate what has happened and what it still does to me,
never will I be able to hate her. I never could, and I never will...

Written on January 22, 2008.

_~*~_

The Exies: Tired of You

Where did I go wrong?
I can’t look you in the eye
Feeling so ashamed
It feels like I could die

Hold me up ... and don’t let go
I’ve had enough

I'm tired of breathing
Tired of feeling
Tired of looking at the past for meaning
Tired of running
Tired of searching
Tired of trying
But I’m ... not tired of you...

Losing everything
It's something I can't face
Hope is on the run
It's something I can't fake

Hold me up ... and don’t let go
I’ve had enough

I'm tired of breathing
Tired of feeling
Tired of looking at the past for meaning
Tired of running
Tired of searching
Tired of trying
But I’m ... not tired of you...
(But I’m) I’m not tired of you...
(But I’m) I’m not tired of you...

I wanna feel a change
I don't mind if it hurts
You take away the pain
You're the only thing that's pure

I'm tired of breathing
Tired of feeling
Tired of looking at the past for meaning
Tired of running
Tired of searching
Tired of trying
But I’m-

Oh, I'm tired of breathing
Tired of feeling
Tired of looking at the past for meaning
Tired of running
Tired of searching
Tired of trying
But I’m ... not tired of you...
I’m not tired of you...
I’m not tired of you...
I’m not tired of you...

I’m not tired of you...
© 2008 - 2024 SaraChristensen
Comments19
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VirulentRequiem's avatar
Wow... T_T I was confused at first, to be honest, but the end really got me. And it was really cool how you say you hate things that people usually love and are around you all the time. :love: